It has been 34 years now, you would have been 48. I often wonder what would have been, what could have been. I feel no pain in my heart, I feel nothing - its like I have put up a wall to stop that constant ache and pain of loosing you. I know you are with Mum and Grandma and your soul has grown so much. I no longer feel you around me so perhaps your soul has moved on to a greater purpose? No matter what words come out of my mouth, the anger, the anguish, the fear, the love. . . no matter what you will always be my big sister and you are always missed - always.